Haggis for people who don’t like haggis

When you think about it for a moment haggis is pretty unappealing. An monstrous turd of a sausage stuffed with suet and assorted offal (sheeps heart, liver and lungs) served with a veg (neeps) the French only feed to cattle it’s mystifying why we dedicate a night to eating it every year. No wonder you need whisky to wash it down.

And yet (unlike andouillette, which is truly rank) it’s actually rather tasty - the oatmeal gives it a pleasant nuttiness and the seasoning, including a lot of white pepper I suspect, a good spicy kick.

Purists would disagree but I find vegetarian haggis even better largely because it’s not so fatty - in fact I’d even eat it on occasions other than Burns Night if it were available.

Macsweens - Scotlands best known haggis producer - has obviously realised there’s a round-the-year marketing opportunity here and has introduced two posh ‘limited edition’ haggises (haggi?) - a Three Bird Haggis (grouse pheasant and duck) and a Venison Haggis - “haggis for the indulgent connoisseur” according to their rather flashy website. (Rabbie Burns would be turning in his grave).

I tried both a while back and found them pleasant but a little too bland but they’d absolutely hit the spot for a haggis-hater - particularly a wine-loving one. (Both would be grand with a glass of red burgundy).

Apparently there are more in the pipeline. A chocolate-coated Easter Haggis? A smoked Father’s Day haggis? Pulled haggis for the barbecue? The mind boggles.

I’m afraid I didn’t get round to telling you about all this in time for you to order one online but you can apparently find them in Waitrose and Booth's for about £4.

So if you’re a haggis hater would these new posh haggises win you round or is gourmet haggis a contradiction in terms?

PS Incidentally the secret of making neeps or mashed swede palatable, I reckon, is to get them really smooth (drain and whizz in a food processor) and to be generous with the butter butter and seasoning (salt, black pepper and a pinch of nutmeg) At least that’s the way I’ll be cooking them this weekend.

If you want to know what to drink with haggis try these posts:

Which whisky pairs best with haggis?

Which beers are best for Burns' Night?

Or if you're not a haggis fan you may prefer this

An alternative Burns Night menu for six

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